Feeling Blue

      There are times when I feel unloved, lonely and feeling blue. Times when I'm alone and again and again I sit by the window wondering why God hadn't chosen me for the blessing of marriage.

      I read an article from the internet that says, "Before you find Mr. or Ms. Right, many relationships will come and go. Everything happens for a reason, so when you go through another break up, you're actually getting closer to finding your future bride or groom." Do I have to keep my faith on this?

     The person I thought God has sent was gone. And up until now, I have not found the right man man yet. Each day makes me feel more frustrating, thinking about that man I should end up with and sometimes, I feel like I'm about to give up. I'm tired of getting in and out of a relationship and risked myself to love and then only lose again in the end. I wanted a real one, a more stable and for a lifetime commitment. Am I becoming a loser? How will I make myself happy whenever frustration strikes me? What shall I do? Do I have to give up?

     Joe D' Mango on his Lovenotes once advised, "Sometimes , it seems that it would take us an eternity to find a lasting relationship. It is easy to fall in love but keeping the fire burning is a different story. For a hundred and different reasons, the glow and the excitement of the first few episodes of a seemingly perfect relationship can unexpectedly turn dark and cold. And soon, the would sparks fade and people will just find themselves falling out of love. 

     Unfortunately , there is no sure-fire formula to enduring relationships. We wouldn't know exactly if it would work unless we get ourselves into it . And indulging our emotions seriously into heart matters can have serious repercussions when the love that we thought will stay forever changes its course and leaves us. 

     Sometimes, finding the right person doesn't always makes us happy either. Remember, we should not expect others to make us happy for we can experience it even if we are all by ourselves . Real happiness is a state of mind and flows from within our hearts and not from others. Remember, every relationship , successful or not, is always a learning experience. After each recovery , we come out as a better knowing person. We learn to experience that pain will hurt us but we will also learn to understand that pain will teach us to become stronger persons.   

     Don't give up . The curtains of love will not close on you .You just have to trust that God always has a better reason for making us suffer . Do not count and think of your shattered dreams for you will lose focus on things that are more important. Remember , it shouldn't matter how many times we love and lose our balance , what should matters is how many times we get up after each fall and learn to trust and love again."

     Life must go on. I should live because God gave me the breath of life. I should pray and talk to Him. And in His Word I put my hope. Who knows, maybe God has some wonderful surprises in store. Maybe the trouble I thought was so great will turn out to be a blessing. Romans 8:28 encourages me, "In all things God works for the good of those who love him." I should learn to greet each day with praise and thanksgiving. And believe that nothing is impossible with God.

 

Christmas is Fast Approaching!

     Christmas holiday season is almost here. Everywhere we hear christmas songs played on and see places decorated with christmas symbols. It's the season of parties, bonuses, gifts giving, and shopping galore. But let us all be reminded that the true meaning of Christmas season doesn't exactly mean spending too much on material things just to satisfy our wants. This is the time when we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. But did we all know the true essence of this season? God is Love and Christmas is all about love. It simply means love is the spirit of Christmas. The Bible tells us "love one another" and I think this is the perfect time of spreading our love to everyone. It would be the best and priceless gift that we can give and receive. It's Christmas time all year and every day is Christmas because every day is a day to love, to give love and receive love.

 

A snapshots taken in front of a Christmas tree

with my friends

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!!
 

Strolling with Jack

Yesterday when I opened my facebook account I saw a buddypoke posted by Jack on my wall. I'm glad when she invited me to stroll even it's just in buddypoke application of facebook. 

 Jack and I went for a drive around town

Actually it never crossed my mind that somebody will respond on my post, a buddypoke saying I'm feeling tired. But I'm glad she did. It really reminds me of the things we did before like strolling around the town of Angono, Rizal and she's the driver. I miss the time when we did crazy things. We went to her friends at dawn when Ate Esther and Jamers were sleeping. I could still remember the time when Jack, Joy and I enjoyed our talks and giggles in the middle of the night at the sala of Ate Esther's house. When we're hungry, we just go out of the house and go to Jusay's Bakery near the town plaza and buy pandesal and juice. It's too late at night but we didn't care of walking down the street for all we know we're safe. I could say that Jack was my best confidante during my stay in Ate Esther's house when Jack was still single. We shared secrets and ideas. Jack and Joy stayed by my side and comforted me when my ex-boyfriend and I broke-up.  We were at their bedroom then, had a bottle of alcoholic drinks and soon get drunk. Being in the spirit of alcohol, I couldn't stop myself in pouring out all my heartaches to them. I cried and cried until they're carried away on what I felt. Joy comforted me by wrapping her arms around me. I saw tears falling from her eyes and for that I knew how Joy did understand me. Jack comforted me by her encouraging words. I woke up the following day with eye bags and dark circles added with headache caused by my drinking.

Now, we only communicate through web chat when both of us are online. I do really miss her and the things we did before. But somehow that's life, time came when we'd to separate ways and face our lives differently. Still, memories will still be a memories... but have to reminisce it once in a while. A very touching and inspiring life when you know there is someone who cares.

Movie Date with Friends

I asked my friends out on a movie date on November 25, 2009 after office hour. I'm glad they'd agreed with my plan. The last time I went to a movie theater was last year when Mareng Aieen and I watched the "twilight" movie. And now looking forward to the second movie of the twilight saga "new moon." While waiting, I read the synopsis and watch the trailer of the said movie.

Joy of Love

     Sometimes the one we loved the most turns out to be the one who hurts us the most. But still, we should always remember that failing in love is not reason enough for us to fear love. The joy comes in loving when nothing is expected in return. Love is not all about happiness for we can never know what being happy is like without experiencing some pain.

     Moreover, love is not seeking for your own happiness. Its main concern is giving, not taking. It is not about making sure that the other person's life will revolve around yours, but it's a celebration of the others' existence and being - even if you're totally different from each other. Love always makes sure there is ultimate honesty and sincerity in the heart as well as much respect and honor. Love goes nowhere without faith, hope and trust. Love is not about beautiful words. It is about making a firm decision and action to make the relationship grow stronger each day. It's the willingness to exert effort to keep the love alive. It does not give up.

     But remember that although love means never giving up, it can also mean letting go. Sometimes, we'll meet people who can't be strong and whose weakness will poison us. When loving becomes a one-way process we have to let go. Letting go is like a pill that we swallow so as to heal ourselves and move on to the next phase of our life.

His Strength is Perfect

What a beautiful and encouraging song! And I want to share it with you.

I am so grateful that He sees beyond our fault and sees our need. I am so grateful for His deep, unconditional and amazing love and graces to us. I know that His strength is Perfect when our own strength is gone, and He carries us with His loving arms.

A Natal Day Celebration

A natal day celebration is a very common tradition for us Filipinos.  We believe  birthday  celebration is not only for kids but for adults as well. October 22 is the birthday of Ate Aieen, one of my bestfriends. I truly miss her a lot. I had no chance to greet her in person because right now she's in Saudi Arabia working as librarian. And to show and express my greetings and wishes, I posted on her facebook's wall some photo art and birthday wishes.

God gave a gift to the world when you were born; a person who loves and cares, who sees a person's need and fills it, who encourages and lifts people up, who spends energy on others rather than yourself, who touches each life you enter and makes a difference in the world. May the love you have shown to others return to you multiplied. May each and every passing year bring you wisdom, peace and cheer. You'll always be forever young. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

Hope this day is as special as you are. Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years. You're not getting older, you're getting better. May the years continue to be good to you. May this year bring with it all the success and fulfillment your heart desires. I'm so glad you were born, because you brighten my life and fill it with joy. Your best years are still ahead of you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Last thursday, October 22, 2009, Jasmin and I went to San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan to visit Ate Aieen's family and be a part of the simple celebration of her birthday prepared by her beloved family. We savored the sumptuous foods they served like

beef caldereta,

crispy pata,

and hazel nut mousse desire cake from Goldilocks.

We never missed the opportunity of having a photo shoots with Ate Aieen's two angels, Cedie and Ashley (my godchild). They're really super cute and lovable kids.

 

Cedie and Ashley

me with Ashley

me with Cedie and Ashley

Jasmin with Cedie and Ashley

We not only savored the sumptuous dinner we had with her family for we had also a great fun  and precious bonding moment with her two kids, Cedie and Ashley. And to Ate Aieen, the greatest bestfriend I ever had, a million thanks to you for everything. I couldn't find enough words to define how grateful I was when you came into my life and being a part of it. You're a precious and best priceless gift I have ever received from Above.

Again, happy birthday to you!!! I love you so much, my bestfriend.  Missing you so much!!!