Lord, I felt frustrated today. There are still unanswered questions in my mind. I only asked the things that bothered me. It doesn't mean that I don't believe in him and doesn't mean that I believe on what I've found. All I wanted is the truth so that I could have peace of mind. But is it mean that wanting to know the truth means gaining the pain that I have now? What if I didn’t ask him about the stupid thing, did it result to a better relationship? Is it really a great mistake what I’ve done that he didn’t accept my sincerest apology? Did it really offend him that he left me with nothing but confusion? I should not have done this, but I think it's unfair. Now I don’t know what to do. Do I have to keep going and hoping that everything will be okay? Or better yet accept and forget it to ease the pain? I can’t deny the hurt that embodied me. I’m tired of crying and fighting the losing battle inside me.
Do I need to regret what I’ve done? Do I have to accuse myself that I’m terribly wrong? I’m tired of thinking what if and why it happened? Is this happened for a reason? Then what is the reason? Why it happened now? Now that I love him so much, that we had so many dreams together, that we are planning to build a home together, and then suddenly it will stop with just one stupid question. I can't keep going through each day pretending everything is wonderful, when inside I am crumbling and breaking.
Lord, show me my path and help me walk along it. I need You to be my angel, my protector, my guardian, my friend and my shield. Show me the way I should go and give me the courage to accept the things I need to accept. Lord, please take me in your arms and heal me from the inside to the outside. Lord I am calling out to you because I can no longer rely on my own strength. I am at my breaking point. I am trying, but I just don’t feel better inside. I am aching desperately for you Lord. Lord, lead me to the paths that will give me answers, hope and belief that it will get better. I'm scared of the answers Lord but please give me the courage to find it. Lord, please help me let go of my fears so that I can find the peace inside me. You are the only one that can help me Lord. Please Lord, I need you.
1 comments:
Friend, I know that your hurting and these phase of your life is hard. Yet, if you would ask me you have done the right thing. I'd say YES!Why wait in vain?Why wait and know late that all those things you found out is real. Rather than realizing it later in your life when you have entirely committed your world to him and be crashed at the end. I'm not saying that all those things are true but its better that you have asked rather than left unspoken and your still doubting. Be strong my friend, everything happen for a reason and no matter what you find out I'll be here. Have faith and know that HE will never forsake you.
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